Change of Heart
by TentenNTemari
Summary: After the cataclysmic events of the ambush of the Hidden Leaf village, Gaara faces an inner turmoil he can't ignore. Can people really change for the better? And will he be able to find forgiveness after all he's done? This is Temari's first Naruto story.
1. The First Step

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters therein.**

**Author's Note:** **This is my first ever Naruto story as well as the first story I have written for Fanfiction. It is a hypothetical, "what if" kind of story that's been brewing inside me for a long time. I'm sorry if it's a little sappy. I felt like writing something a bit emotional. **

I never thought it was possible to be so completely wrong about everything. Gaara stared up at the sky, letting the sun beat down upon his pale face. My head is spinning…but it's different than usual. I think I'm starting to understand…something important…

With slow, deliberate steps, he walked down the narrow path and turned right till he came to a stop in front of a small house. Reaching out an arm, he slid open the faded door, which let out a pathetic groan of protest. Closing it carefully behind him, he called out hesitantly,

"Temari? Kankuro?"

"We're in here, Gaara." His sister's voice came from within the dining room.

Gaara took a deep breath and crossed to the eating area. He found Temari seated calmly at the table, cleaning her fan's ebony edges with a soft cloth. Their brother, Kankuro, was located across from her, ravenously devouring a bowl of mizo soup.

They both looked up at his silent approach.

Gaara's gaze dropped to his sandals. He felt his face growing hot, and for some reason he was having difficulty getting words to come out of his mouth.

"I…need to talk."

Temari and Kankuro exchanged glances; Kankuro had his spoon halfway up to his mouth.

"Now."

Without hesitation, Temari scooted backwards in her chair and stood. Stepping around to the other side of the table, she tugged forcefully on Kankuro's sleeve. "C'mon. Into the living room. Let's go."

Kankuro seemed as though he were about to protest, but one look at Temari's face changed his mind. Without another word, the oldest of the three led her brothers into the small living room. Temari and Kankuro took seats on the couch, and Gaara sat down quietly in the chair across from them.

Gaara mustered up the courage to look his siblings in the eyes. Both of them were completely serious now. Temari had seemed to sense the urgency of the situation immediately. Even Kankuro, who usually had a confident or witty remark about everything, sat in silence, a concerned expression etched on his purple-marked face.

"I'm… not sure how to say this," Gaara's voice was low. "I've been thinking lately, about life. Not-not just 'life' in general, but also about my life. Our lives."

He closed his eyes for a moment. What was he saying? He sounded like a fool. They probably had no clue what he was talking about. But, still, he had to say it. He couldn't turn back now.

"Everything I believed, everything I was told to be true… is a lie. I cannot deny it now. All of it is wrong, dead wrong." He faltered, "Pardon the expression."

Temari smiled reassuringly. Her face was full of some emotion Gaara couldn't place. He realized that he'd never seen it before. It wasn't happiness, but something more… It was almost like she was waiting excitedly for something.

"It's like a shroud has been lifted, and I'm suddenly able to see things more clearly than I ever have before. I can't get out of my head the things that you two have told me. Things that I…wouldn't listen to because I didn't understand them. I've also been thinking about the things Naruto and the others from Konoha have said. Naruto says that life is not about one person only. To see the big picture, you have to care about others, not just yourself." He swallowed and began to talk faster.

"Naruto told me that his friends make him strong. Without friends, people who care about you, your life lacks meaning. But you can't expect people to be your friend unless you treat them in turn like a friend. He says the keys to friendship are kindness and… love."

Even as he spoke, Gaara knew for the first time in his life that what he was saying was right.

"I didn't believe him at first," he continued. " 'How could this be true?' I told him. 'No one in the real world cares for anyone but themselves. There is no such thing as friendship/love, only people who use other people for their own ends.' But Naruto told me that I was wrong, and he described how his friends and the people he cares about has changed his life. We are so much alike, yet he has something I do not have. He says that, without the help from the people who care about him, he would've ended up just like me." Gaara blinked. "I couldn't argue with him. What he said made perfect sense. And I…" he stared at his hands, "I have only cared about myself. I thought my purpose in life was to destroy, that I couldn't change what I'd become.

"But now I see what I really am. I am a monster, a selfish person who lives only by cruelty, never knowing what love really means."

Gaara looked up hesitantly at his siblings. Kankuro looked stunned. Temari was beaming. Her eyes were shining and Gaara was startled to see tears in them.

Gaara's voice was little more than a whisper as he said, "But the real reason I wanted to talk to you today was that, I wanted to ask…" his voice cracked, "your forgiveness."

Afraid of their reply, Gaara hurried on. "I know it is an enormous thing to ask. I have treated you horribly for so long, not the way I should have acted towards my own brother and sister. I have hurt you both many times, and I am so sorry. I know this sounds so inadequate compared to my actions, but if you can find it in your heart, please forgive me."

After he'd said these words, the room rang with a shocked silence. Gaara just sat there, eyes squeezed shut, waiting for the judgment and justice that was sure to come.

But, to his surprise, what came was not harsh words or retaliation. Instead, he felt arms wrap gently around him. Gaara stiffened, and looked up questioningly to see Temari kneeling next to him, smiling as she embraced her youngest brother. A hand touched Gaara's shoulder, and Kankuro grinned as he, too, came around beside the confused redhead.

"Gaara," Temari whispered, "you don't know how long we have been waiting for this day to come."

"I was starting to think it never would," Kankuro added.

"For years I've been hoping you'd come around, praying that you'd have a change of heart before you destroyed yourself," Temari continued. "Somehow, deep down, I knew you would find the truth someday."

Gaara's eyes widened. "Aren't you angry? How can you accept me after all that I've done?"

Temari's face grew very serious. "That's what forgiveness is, Gaara. It is obvious that you are sincerely remorseful about what you've done, and so that is all in the past now. It won't be easy to forget, but the past is behind you."

Gaara looked from Temari's face to Kankuro's and then back again. "But…why?"

"Because we love you, Gaara."

"L-love?" Gaara's voice trembled.

"Yes, Gaara. We have always loved you, and always will. No matter what you do, no matter what other people tell you, we will always love you." Temari's face was wet now.

"You're not alone anymore, Gaara," Kankuro said, "We're family, so we got to stick together. This time, love's for real."

And then something happened inside of Gaara that he couldn't prevent. It was as if a wall or a dam cracked and burst loose within him. Tears began to stream down his cheeks. He just let them flow, as if his sobs would wash away the shame and guilt. Temari and Kankuro just hugged him, and the three of them sat there silently for a long time, simply comforting one another and letting go of all the pent up emotions of the so many years.

Then Gaara drew his forearm roughly across his eyes, slightly embarrassed of his tearful reaction. "Thank you," he whispered, an unfamiliar smile spreading slowly across his face.

After a moment, he looked up. "So…" he asked hesitantly, "What do I do next?"

"Well," Kankuro said, thinking, "You've already taken the first step by apologizing to us. That took a tremendous amount of guts on your part. Now, if I were you, I would go and set things right with the people you hurt the most. It's up to them whether they will choose to forgive you or not. But either way, you will be at peace because you did the right thing."

Gaara nodded slowly. "I know just the person to go to first."

**Author's Note: I have only watched the English version of Naruto (which I think is great, by the way), so I only know what has happened so far in those episodes. So if any readers know what happens later on in the series, please dont' say anything about it in your reviews. I love helpful reviews, but I hate spoilers! Thanks.**


	2. An Unlikely Friend

Gaara stood for a long moment before the door of yet another building, this one much larger than the one he and his siblings were staying in. He shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other, unsure of what to do. His hand itched to just knock on the door and get it over with, but the blood pounding in his head tried to convince him otherwise.

_Why am I so nervous?_ Gaara wondered. _Is it going to be like this for all of the people I apologize to or is it just this one?_ He shook his head, trying to clear it. _No, I have to do this. It's the right thing. I've hurt this person more than most, so this one has to be first._

Boldly, he stepped forward and rapped sharply on the green door. In the silence that followed, Gaara's confidence began to wane as he realized that any one of four people could answer the door. _Oh great. Please, please don't be…_

The door creaked open just wide enough for the person inside to stick their face through. Penetrating white eyes glared back at him. "What do _you_ want?" It was Neji.

_It had to be Neji._ Gaara groaned inwardly. He had a feeling that this wasn't going to go very well.

"Well, speak up, I haven't got all day!" the taller boy demanded.

"I-I would like to speak with Rock Lee, please." There, he had said it.

Neji's eyes narrowed and scrutinized Gaara with suspicion. "Now why in the world would you want to see him? What are you planning?"

"Neji? Who're you talking to? Is there someone at the door?" Footsteps sounded from behind Neji and from the shadows emerged the tall, confident form of Might Guy. "Neji," he said with a blinding grin, "remember what I told you about manners towards guests – " He stopped dead as his eyes fell on Gaara. He seemed to be at a loss for words.

"He says that he wants to talk to Lee, Sensei," Neji said, never taking his piercing gaze off of their "guest".

Guy's mouth opened in surprise. "Lee?"

"I don't think we should trust him, Sensei." Neji directed his next question at Gaara. "How do we know you're not just going to come in here and kill us all?"

Gaara stared at the ground in shame. Yet, they had a point. How were they to know that his intentions weren't murderous? He looked back up at their faces. Slowly, deliberately, he slid his gourd off of his back. Without a word, he stepped forward and laid it against the side of the house. As he straightened, he held his head high. "Now do you believe me? I just want to talk with him."

Neji glanced uneasily at Guy Sensei. The tall man stroked his chin, his caterpillar eyebrows knitted in thought. "Well, I suppose now that you're unarmed… Very well, you may come in. Come on, I'll take you to Lee."

Neji stepped aside reluctantly to allow Gaara to enter through the door. Gaara tried not to look at Lee's furious teammate as he followed Guy down a long hallway.

"You had me a bit worried back there, young man," Guy said over his shoulder. "But," he paused for a moment, "you seem…different than the last time I saw you. If you really are just coming to talk, as you say you are, I'm sure Lee would love the company." He winked and there was pride in voice as he said, "Lee's in the exercise room right now, working very hard on his training. That boy is the most dedicated youngster I know."

"Is he alright then?" Gaara asked quietly. "I mean, how is his recovery coming along?"

Guy's face grew more somber and he said gently, "Lee still has a long way to go, I'm afraid, but he has recuperated remarkably fast so far. He is very glad that he can finally continue his training, although I keep telling him not to push himself so hard."

They were approaching a tall door at the end of the corridor, and Guy slowed to a stop in front of it. _This must be the training room_, Gaara thought.

Guy opened the door and, standing behind him, Gaara could see the expansive chamber stretching out beyond. Tall windows allowed sunlight to stream into the room, illuminating the various targets, weights, weapons, and countless training equipment.

Towards the center of the room crouched Rock Lee, the genin with the best taijustu in the entire Leaf Village. Gaara still remembered the boy's incredible speed and agility during their match in the preliminary exams, and watched in fascination as Lee repeatedly kicked a cylindrical target, smashing it each time with enough force to create a serious crater in the target's durable surface.

"Four-hundred ninety seven, four-hundred ninety eight, four-hundred ninety nine, five hundred!" he cried triumphantly, stepping back and admiring his handiwork, panting heavily. Not five seconds later, he dashed to the other side of room, where a box of equipment sat. "Now I shall do five hundred repetitions with the jump-rope!" he declared, snatching up a green one. He was about to leap enthusiastically into this next exercise when Guy interrupted.

"Lee!" he called.

Lee froze and spun to face the door. "Guy Sensei!" he shouted, beaming and giving his beloved teacher a thumbs-up.

"Excellent work, Lee!" Guy returned the gesture, sticking out his thumb. Then he continued. "Lee, you have a visitor."

The lithe genin dropped his rope and raised his eyebrows. "Really?"

"He says he wants to talk to you. I'll be in the other room if you need me." Guy stepped to the side and strode back down the hallway, leaving Gaara standing in plain view in the doorway. He suddenly felt very small and alone.

Lee's round eyes grew even wider at the sight of his former opponent. The two remained speechless for what seemed like an eternity. Gaara noted with dismay the sling that still bound Rock Lee's arm. He found that he couldn't bear to look him in the face.

"Gaara…" Lee said slowly, "of the Desert, right?"

Gaara nodded. "And you are Rock Lee, of the Village Hidden in the Leaves."

Suddenly Lee grinned and shook his head. "Where are my manners? Come in, come in! Don't just linger in the doorway. Oh dear, I am afraid Neji is starting to rub off on me."

Smiling slightly, Gaara hesitantly stepped through the door and walked over to where Rock Lee stood.

"I must admit, I am surprised to find you here, Gaara. You were the last person I expected to see when Guy Sensei said I had a visitor."

"To tell you the truth, this was the last place I expected to be, until just recently."

Lee tilted his head. "What made you decide to come then?"

"Well, you see I…" Gaara's eyes fell again on the sling. "What I wanted to tell you is that…" Gaara stopped. _This is harder than I thought. I don't even deserve to be talking to him right now. I am surprised he hasn't kicked me out already._

"What?" Rock Lee's eyes searched Gaara's face. "What is it that you need to tell me?"

Gaara remembered what Kankuro had told him. "Lee, I have come here today to apologize to you."

Lee was listening, waiting, his face open and encouraging.

"I want to tell you that I am so sorry for all that I have done to you. I hurt you so badly, and I have no excuse for my actions. It is my fault that you cannot train as hard as you could before. And I didn't just hurt you during the preliminaries. I am ashamed to say that I honestly did wish to kill you back in the hospital." Gaara put his hand up to his head. "I couldn't understand why your Sensei would try to save you. Even then I could see that you had something I didn't have, and the pain of seeing that someone valued you even though you lost was too great. I couldn't stand it, couldn't comprehend why you were stronger than me, even though I had defeated you in combat. Somehow, I knew, that really, you were the victor."

He shook his head in self-disgust. "I see now how terribly wrong I was. I have no wish to hurt you now, Rock Lee. I only hope that maybe you can accept my apology and someday forgive me for what I have done to you. However, if you do not, I understand completely. I probably would not if I were in your place." Gaara bowed his head. "Just please know how sorry I am and that I sincerely hope you are able to make a full recovery."

Gaara's heart pounded, and, although he was still apprehensive of Lee's reaction, he was astonished to realize that, somehow, he did feel more at peace with himself. It was as if a great weight had been lifted off of him. He glanced up to see Lee grinning back at him.

"Gaara," he said, putting his hand on the shorter boy's shoulder, "I am very happy that you came to tell me this. It shows me how much you really have changed for the better". He shook his head. "But even if you had not, you still would have had my forgiveness."

Lee laughed at Gaara's bewildered expression. "I forgave you a long time ago. Sure, I was angry at first, especially after the match when I woke up in the hospital. But I discovered that I could not stay angry for long. I felt sympathy for you, and it made me sad that you were so embittered that you did not understand what love or friendship was. So I decided that I would let go of my anger towards you. Hating you would not have helped anyone. When you stay resentful or hold a grudge, it just eats you up from the inside. So, even while I was training hard to overcome the damage you had done, I forgave you in my heart, hoping that my choosing not to hate you would help you more than if I had stayed bitter."

Gaara stared at him in amazement. "You mean you forgave me, even though I felt no remorse?"

Lee smiled. "Yes."

"It is still difficult for me to understand… but thank you, Rock Lee. I think I am finally beginning to see."

"A wounded heart like yours takes a long time to heal, but forgiveness and friendship can help close the wounds," Lee said thoughtfully. Suddenly, his eyes lit up. "Hey, since you and I are no longer enemies," Lee said, flashing a perfectly white smile, "do you want to be friends? What do you say?" He stuck out his hand.

Gaara looked at it for a moment, unsure of what to do. Then he remembered seeing some people shake hands once a long time ago. It was like a symbolic way of finalizing an agreement or promise. Slowly, he reached out and shook Lee's strong hand with his pale one. "Yes," he said, solemnly, "I would like that."

"All right!" Lee punched the air in elation. "I am proud to be your very first friend from the Hidden Leaf Village."

Gaara smiled, thinking, _No, Lee, you are my very first friend ever._


	3. Forgiven

The wind whispered gently through the trees, tugging insistently at the branches and carrying with it the leaves that did not hold on tightly enough to remain on the boughs. The late afternoon sun cast long shadows across the grass-bordered path, and Gaara watched the leaves dance as they swirled around him in the breeze. He was sitting quietly on a wooden bench not far from Konoha's training building for the young ninja of the village. He leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees and resting his chin on his hand.

This had been a most interesting day. He had needed some time just to get away by himself and think. In addition to trying to decide whom he should "set things right" with next, Gaara had been pondering the curious responses of the people he had apologized to today. After his visit with Rock Lee he had gone directly to Naruto's house. The boy's reaction had actually been quite similar to Lee's, although much more exuberant. When he had heard Gaara's apology, Naruto had yelped and threw his arms around Gaara in the biggest bear hug in history, nearly strangling him. In that terrifying instant it was all Gaara could do to prevent his sand from intercepting Naruto and hurling him across the room. But after the initial panic had subsided, Gaara had realized that Naruto's hug was merely a friendly expression of his excitement and joy.

He was glad, of course, that the individuals he'd apologized to were able to forgive him, but that didn't mean it wasn't puzzling. Gaara had to admit that their kindness perplexed him. Why didn't they just pay him back for his actions? They didn't even seem to care about revenge or retaliation. In fact, they seemed eager to move on and put the anger behind them. But… why? Gaara stared up at the trees surrounding him and watched how gracefully they swayed in the wind. _This place is so different from the Sand Village,_ Gaara thought. _But it's not unpleasant. In fact, I kind of like it here._

"Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?" inquired a voice.

Gaara's head jerked up in surprise. A slender girl with brilliant green eyes and a maroon dress was standing before him. The wind pulled gently at her pale pink hair, and she smiled shyly. With a start, he recognized her as Sakura Haruno, the vivacious kunoichi from Naruto's squad.

He realized suddenly that he still hadn't answered her question but had been staring at her blankly. "Uh, no. No one's sitting here." He looked away. "You can sit there if you want," he added sheepishly.

As she took a seat on the opposite end of the bench, Gaara cast her a sidelong glance. Was it just him, or was she stifling a grin with her hand?

Gaara watched her in silence as she took out a small lunch box and set it on her lap. She opened it and began sorting through its contents. "It's a beautiful day to be outside," she remarked.

Gaara said nothing.

"Aha!" she exclaimed, seeming to have found what she was looking for. Sakura pulled from the box of food what appeared to be a small pastry. "These are my favorite," she told him. "My mother made them for me this morning. Would you like some?" She tore the pastry in half and offered one side to him.

"Oh. No thanks," Gaara said quickly. Why was she talking to him? Did she want something? What was he supposed to say to her?

"Okay," she said cheerfully, "I'll just save it in case you want it later. I can't eat the whole thing." Sakura wrapped the pastry half in some paper and set it down in the space on the bench between them.

Gaara sat there feeling very awkward. He was at a total loss about what to do.

The only sound now was the rustling trees and the crinkle of paper in Sakura's lunchbox as she uncovered more food and began to eat. Sakura busied herself with her lunch, and Gaara stared straight ahead, refusing to move a muscle in case he did or said the wrong thing.

After a little while, Sakura closed her lunchbox and set it on the ground next to her foot. Finally, she broke the penetrating silence.

"I heard about what you did."

Gaara turned quickly to look at her. Her voice was not accusatory, but he suddenly felt a stab of fear. "What? What do you mean?"

"Relax. It's not a bad thing. Naruto told me what you did earlier…what you told him. That you apologized." Her tone was thoughtful.

"Really?" Gaara was relieved but puzzled.

"Yeah." Slowly, she met his eyes. "I think it's great. What you did."

"You…do?"

Sakura nodded. "I think it was really brave to go and ask forgiveness. I'm not sure I could've done what you did, were I in your place."

"You wouldn't be," Gaara said flatly. "In my place, I mean." He couldn't imagine Sakura filled with fury and bent on revenge.

She smiled slightly. "Yeah, well, I'm glad that we're starting to see this new side of you."

As he watched her sitting beside him, unafraid, Gaara was reminded of the battle not too long ago between him and Naruto's team in the forest of Konoha. She had been courageous there, too, valiantly defending her teammates even though she had stood little chance against him in his partially transformed state. He remembered how he had knocked her aside in his rage and pinned her against a nearby tree trunk, holding her there in an intractable choking grip. The image of Sakura hanging helplessly in his cruel grasp rushed unbidden into his mind. _Doesn't she remember that side of me, too?_ he thought in anguish.

"You don't have to put on a front for me, Sakura," Gaara said softly. "Don't feel like you have to be kind to me; I don't deserve it."

Sakura looked a little shocked. "You mean you think I'm being nice to you just because of what Naruto told me? Or because I have to?"

"Your reasons for hating me are completely understandable," Gaara replied seriously.

Sakura shook her head, and her eyes were sad. "You misunderstand me, Gaara. I don't hate you, and I'm not putting on an act with you. My kindness is genuine."

Gaara regarded her carefully. Once again he found himself completely confounded by the situation.

"But…in the forest I nearly killed you. And Sasuke."

"I didn't forget. But things are different now. People can change, Gaara, and you have. And, as I remember, Sasuke had hunted you down and was trying to destroy you, too."

Gaara struggled to understand what she was trying to say. "But I still did it!" he blurted. "Don't you see? Me! I was the one who pinned you against that tree, the one who tried to obliterate your teammates! Why do you not despise me? Help me to understand why, when you look at me, you do not still see a hideous monster."

Sakura's eyes were wide, but she was not frightened. "Because, Gaara, when I look at you, I see who you are becoming, who you _can_ be, not what you were. Please believe us when we say that we accept your apology. We are ready to accept you, too, Gaara, if you'll let us." She smiled and slid across the bench, lessening the wide gap between them. "The others forgave you, Gaara, and I forgive you, too." She searched his face. "I have done my part, but the rest, the believing, is up to you. Do you trust me that I'm telling you the truth?"

Gaara stared at her, unable to look away. "Yes," he said at last. "I believe you, Sakura."

She smiled at him, and this time there was no doubt in Gaara's mind that she was sincere.

"Your siblings aren't the only people that care about you, Gaara. You have lots of friends here in Konoha, friends that want to help you get better." She stood. "And I'm one of them."

Sakura bent and picked up her lunchbox, looking back at him as she turned to leave. "Don't you forget that, Gaara of the Desert." Then, with one last smile and a tiny wave, the pink-haired girl began walking back down the path, heading for home.

Gaara lifted a hand slowly in goodbye as she left. For a moment he just sat there, too stunned to do anything else. Then, glancing down at the bench beside him, he noticed a small paper-wrapped package. _Sakura's pastry_, he realized. Gingerly, he reached down and picked up the small parcel. Carefully, he unwrapped it, and, closing his eyes, he took a tiny bite.


End file.
